What happened after that post?
I spent some days avoiding it. And I certainly got caught up in more excuses.
What if totally sucks?
What if I write it and then can't publish it for some odd reason?
What if aliens vaporize my computer?
What if it's not long enough?
What if it's too confusing?
What if the only person who reads it is my mom?
What if. What if. Excuse. Excuse.
But I had basically made myself accountable with that blog post. Whenever someone messaged to ask me how I was doing or how the book was coming along, I felt renewed motivation to complete it.
Well, this past Tuesday, the change I had begun internally finally clicked. I sat down and I told myself it was happening that day or bust.
I wrote my book.
I uploaded it onto Amazon.
Some awesome friends contributed photos and gave me pointers on a couple mistakes.
And now I have a book!
And after I published it and it went live on Amazon, I realize something.
Sure, it might be too short, or confusing, or unpopular. And my mom might actually be the only person who buys it. (She refused to take a free copy lol.) But, I did it. I recognized that I was hiding behind excuses instead of facing my fears. I faced them, I committed to this and...I did it. And that has made the entire process worth it above anything else.
Interestingly, it reminded me much of when you squeeze your eyes shut to rip off a bandaid. I found myself asking why I had avoided this in the first place. It wasn't as hard as I had built it up to be and in fact was a little exhilarating. I was left feeling a tad silly at all my fears. Imagine if I had never taken a stand? I would be looking back with regret.
So, if you are also out there wishing you could do something and dreaming about something important to you, I encourage you to put the excuses away and get to work! You deserve to see your dreams in reality no matter how small. It really is a wonderful feeling and I hope you find out what your excuse is, face it and overcome it.